MOTHER = GUILT

Dear all, 

Of all the things about motherhood, the one thing that bothers me the most is the guilt that comes with it. 

Being a mother means feeling guilty. You are constantly feeling guilty about something. You feel guilty if you are working outside of the house, you feel guilty if you decided to quit your job to raise your children, you feel guilty if you never worked, you feel guilty if you worked but never really felt you accomplished enough professionally. You feel guilty about the food your kids eat or don’t eat, guilty about if the house is not organized, guilty about how you punish your kids, guilty thinking that you haven't done enough for your kids or guilty that you are doing too much for them. Guilty for everything. Oh the guilt, guilt, guilt guilt. 

As my dear old friend Merriam Webster defines — guilt: feelings of culpability especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy.  

Imagined offenses or sense of inadequacy? Yes, that is us, moms. As you can see, feeling it is not a concrete thing, most of the times the guilty feeling is placed in our minds by ourselves, we create these monsters. Save for the times when disgraceful people try to plant this seed in us.

The tricky thing in life is how to get guilt-free. It requires a lot of work and discipline. When you start to feel guilty about something that really drains and consumes you, try “Inattention disorder” , It comes very handy. I recommend this one, just let it go, don’t hold on to these destructive feelings.

Being a mother is the most beautiful job in the world, but also the hardest job in the world. And we are all doing our best or at least trying.

But at the same time, being a mother is one of the most difficult tasks of a human being. The responsibility of raising a child, so that he is up to society's standards, qualified socially, emotionally, academically, and also healthy, rests on our shoulders. No wonder we feel so guilty, drained and consumed by our own feelings of inadequacy all the time. It is by far the hardest job in the world. You can either ruin a person's future life or help them succeed. How can we even think about guilt-free here, are you kidding?

On the other hand, people have their own choices in life (later on), and it doesn’t matter how hard we have worked helping them, they still will make their own choices, for good or for bad.

However, as the primary caretaker, it is our responsibility to guide, discipline and train them on the right path. There is no space in motherhood for being lazy, not even for 5 minutes. We need to be on top of everything all the time, everyday, all day, again and again. There is never time to rest. But there is a lot of time for pray, begging  and pleading for Help. Which always brings peace and relief. Just try this one, I highly recommend it.